Should I stop drinking or cut down?

Way 1 of 50Decide your goal: stop or cut down

Only you can decide what's achievable. Be honest with yourself.

• Cutting down can work if you genuinely believe you can stick to limits. Set the days and times you will and won't drink, and how much.
• Stopping completely (abstinence) is usually the better choice if you know you can't stop at one or two, if you're dependent on alcohol, if you've tried cutting down before and it hasn't held, or if alcohol is damaging your health.

Abstinence doesn't have to be forever. Many people stop for several months first. After that, some find they can drink in a controlled way; others find their cravings have gone and they feel so much better that they stay alcohol-free. Many find controlled drinking doesn't work for them and choose long-term abstinence.

If you drink to cope with stress, you'll need to find other ways to cope, whichever goal you choose. See way 25.

Way 2 of 50Set goals you can reach

Goals give your life a framework and a sense of purpose, and that helps build the self-discipline you'll need. A sense of purpose also lowers stress.

Rather than one big aim, break your goals into areas: family, home, work, health. Your health goals should include one about drinking.

• Make each goal specific, with a time limit: a day, a week, a month.
• Think about what might get in the way, and plan for it.
• Don't set yourself up to fail. If you hate housework, a spotless home isn't a realistic goal. Work with who you are.

Accept yourself as you are. Guilt tends to make people want to drink more, not less.

Try this todayWrite down one drinking goal for the next seven days. Make it small enough that you're confident you can do it.

Way 3 of 50Find your own reasons to change

You're more likely to succeed if you want to change for yourself, not because someone else wants you to. You can only change yourself: your behaviour, your attitudes, how you cope. You can't change anyone else.

Believe you can change. People learn new skills and new ways of thinking all the time. Think about what you've already achieved: passing your driving test, an exam, learning an instrument, raising children, holding down a job. You used strengths to do those things, and you still have them. Make a list of them.

Picture it

Imagine yourself having reached your goal. What do you look like? What are you doing in the evenings and at weekends? Where are you, and who with? The more clearly you can picture it, the more real it becomes.

Change is hard, and that's normal

Most of us resist change, even when we know what we're doing isn't working. Sticking with the familiar feels safe. But change can bring a real sense of achievement, and the hardest changes are often the most rewarding. Break it into small steps. Millions of people have given up smoking; you can change your drinking too.

Way 50 of 50Ask yourself the miracle question

This question comes from solution-focused therapy. Try it now, with a pen.

Imagine you go to sleep tonight, and while you're asleep a miracle happens: you wake up tomorrow and your life is going well, and you don't feel like drinking. You don't know the miracle has happened.

• What's the first thing you'd notice that tells you something has changed?
• What would you be doing differently? What would other people notice?
• Write it all down, in as much detail as you can.

Then ask: what would I need to change to start living like that? What's one small piece of it I could do this week?

Try this todayAnswer the miracle question in writing, then underline one thing you could do tomorrow.